"What are you eating for dinner"... such a common question in so many families homes. A regular Sunday night, but she was eating a single chicken tenderloin and some brocolli. I looked across the table in despair. She quietly moves to the dining room and stares down at her plate.
My once talkative, energetic, funny child turned into a dark shell moving like a ghost through the world.
I searched for help. I took her to primary care. Our visits there were unsuccessful. The doctor first said the weight fluxuation was normal for her age. The second visit they thought their heart rate machine was broken because her heart beat was so low.
She went to the ER multiple times with stomach issues, gastrointestinal problems, constipation, fainting, Everyone missed it. Everyone failed to take action.
It wasn't until I demanded that the primary care doctor check her heart and we were taken by ambulance to the ER.
Shocked, devastated and so naive to the journey that lay ahead of us. I was strong, I felt relief. She gets care now. Someone besides me is watching over her and I can finally rest. I can't tell you the darkest nights when I worried I would wake up to find my daughter dead. And it was all on me.
2 month long hospital stays, 5 months residential, repeat rounds of PHP and IOP.
Coordinating dieticians, psychiatrists, scans, appointments, physicians... long intake forms for each one. Meal planning.. plating.. and the worst.. meal time.
Shredding her fingernails through her scalp and arms. Ripping huge chucks of hair from her head. Screaming and crying into the street. The anorexia is a demon in its truest form.
And the only way to fight it and get rid of it is to do the thing the demon hates the most. Nutrition and gain weight.
But I have a God more powerful than this. I have a stregth that does not come from me. My daughter is perfectly and wonderfully made. She is not her disease. She is not an anorexia patient. She is a beam of light to all that know her. She walks in the light of God and I know that is why this has come against her. To tempt her to give in. To tempt her to give up.
But she didn't. She is in recovery today. I cry tears as I write that sentence. She is in recovery. And she is supported and saved by a God that will win every battle. A God that sees her like I do.
I built this company to save one family. I have been in the genomics industry for close to 20 years and have seen first hand on how it has transformed cancer. But why not mental health? Why do we use these sophisticated tools to help cancer, but eating disorder diagnosis is subjective and frequently gets missed. If we can help one family get a diagnosis sooner, get on the right medicine sooner, and provide resources for the journey. It will be worth it. If we can help one family see that they are strong and empowered. And help one daughter recover and truly see who she is in God's eyes. This will be worth it.
Stay strong ED warriors and moms. We love you, we are praying for you. Always reach out if you need anything. Romans 8:28